July 28, 2011

10 Things I learned from Robert Heinlein

1. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.

2. Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.

3. To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy – and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

4. Ignorance is curable, stupid is forever.

5. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

6. Never try to outstubborn a cat.

7. Thinking doesn’t pay. Just makes you discontented with what you see around you.

8. History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

9. Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other “sins” are invented nonsense.

10. Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done. One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.

All are direct quotes. Obviously, I may have learned all of this, some of it is still taking its sweet time sinking in.
If you haven’t read any Heinlein *gasp* then I disown you until such time as you have!
July 26, 2011

Losing it

I woke up yesterday morning with some pretty strong hunger pangs. I forced myself to eat a healthy low calorie meal and went to work.

I don’t know how long this is going to last. I’m terrified that I’m going to fail. It feels a lot like quitting smoking, only 100% worse. I still have days when I have to talk myself down from going to the corner store and buying a pack. I’m finding that I have to constantly talk myself down from eating junk.

I want to do this. I want to be healthy and beautiful like I was when I was in my early 20s. The problem is that I want my little indulgences too. I don’t feel like I should have to deny myself when I have cravings. Obviously I’m wrong, or I wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.

I’m sure there must be some kind of fine balance. For now, I have set myself a goal. I am limiting myself to 1500 calories per day. If I can behave and stick to my diet for a month, then I will reward myself with a royal splurge. Who knows, maybe if I can make it long then I won’t even want that big of an indulgence.

Today is only day 4 of my big life change. I suppose, just like smoking, the first days are always the hardest. I’m mostly fearful of what will happen on my “weekend.” It is easy to stick to the diet at work because the only temptation is the vending machine, and it doesn’t have my favorite sweets. I’ve been in the habit of pigging out on my days off. I was doing some research, and one of my trips to Wendy’s would have cost me my entire day of calories. That is a bit scary.

Hopefully I can manage my cravings with some healthy snacks, fruits and veggies, and the occasional diet chocolate bar thrown in the mix. Wish me luck!

July 22, 2011

An end and a beginning

Swimming the Soulstream was much the same as I swam the oceans of my home when I lived. Those waters turned against us, just as it felt when my soul was sucked from it’s resting place by the technicians in what I discovered to be The Life Factory. Much as I’d rather continue floating through oblivion, I much prefer this to returning as one of Regulos’ slaves. At least I still have my will, at least I still am myself, rather in these husks I see wandering this wasteland of a world. Barely alive, yet full of rage, they attack anything that comes before them.

But I get ahead of myself.

I remember much of what came before. I was and am Kelari. Thank the Spirits for that. The few who have come back in significantly different bodies to their original have quite the difficulty adjusting. Some of them simply go mad. They either escape to their death or are put down.

It seems cruel, but this is a cruel world I’ve been reborn into. It was a cruel world then too, but at the time I was blissfully naive and unaware.

I died as our world shattered. The ward on Akylios’ prison was breaking. The water rose, wave upon wave crashing into our island home. By the time the water began to rise the damage had already long been done. Little did we realize that a new breed of Spirit had infiltrated our temples and corrupted many of our priests, driving them to madness.

As High Priestess Anthousa Mona prepared us to leave our home, the madness was unleashed. Those we thought were our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers, our family and friends, were no longer such. They attacked us with the powers of the plane of Water. Blood ran in the streets, but it was not a sacrifice to our Spirit friends, it was to feed the power of the Abyss. When we begged our true Spirit companions for aid there was no answer. It was then that we truly knew despair. These Abyssal Spirits had driven all but the most powerful of our allies away from us.

We were running for the ships when I was caught in a giant wave of sea water summoned by one of our errant priests. I tried to call out for help, but as I opened my mouth water magically filled my lungs. Just as I felt they would burst everything went black.

I swam in the darkness of the Soulstream, no longer worried about what had happened in my life, no longer concerned about anything. I was torn from this state with violence. Pulled in two directions, I know now that I narrowly escaped becoming one of Regulos’ minions.

It was as though my soul was being pulled in a tug of war. It hurt, but in a distant way, not like the real pain you feel when your body is injured, but a different more spiritual pain. Finally, in a great surge I was pulled through, and I felt. I felt things. It took me moments to realize what was happening.

Surging into this new body made just for me of Source and Magic, I could feel it, I could control it. There was something again, not the oblivion that I had known in the Soulstream. I could feel the tips of my fingers and toes as I wiggled them. I could feel the Source pumping through my body. I reached out and felt the cold metal walls of the cylindrical cell I was suspended in.

I realized that I was holding my breath and attempted to breathe. I sucked in a deep gulp of the saline solution I was encased in, and immediately was returned to the memory of my death, as I began to choke.

As the solution was drained away, I began to hear voices outside of my cell, muffled but obviously frantic.

“But she wasn’t supposed to reawaken yet!” came a nasally female voice.

A booming masculine voice yelled, “Well, she is. Quick! Get her out of there before we lose her!”

“I’m going as fast as I can! I have to wait for the liquid to drain before I can open the cell. You know that!”

“The Sourcestone matrix is strong in this one. We cannot risk losing her now! Hurry!”

I coughed the liquid out of my lungs, gasping in sharp breaths of air. I would not die now, not again. As the walls of the cell were lowered into the floor, I realized that my eyes had been open this whole time. I blinked, not only to get the liquid out of my eyes, but to clear my vision as I grew accustomed to the artificial light.

My eyes fell on the two technicians, their eyes wide, staring at me in wonder and with hope. The female voice belonged to a scrawny Eth wearing goggles, who returned to her machine as soon as she saw I was breathing again.

The male voice belonged to a large, blue-skinned Bahmi. His voice echoed to me in a soft rumble, “Welcome back to the world of the living, Ascended.”

As memories and realization flooded my mind, I gasped and collapsed whispering, “I am Acantha.”

Tags: ,
July 21, 2011

Fear and the aftermath

Yesterday I finally went to the doctor for my knee. It’s been out of whack for months. When it started I didn’t have health insurance yet (was still in the probationary period at my current job), so I waited. It wasn’t so bad, but it also wasn’t going away. Then I kept waiting, hoping it wouldn’t get any worse. I hate going to doctors.

I really shouldn’t have put it off so long. The last two weeks it has quickly worsened, and now I feel I can hardly walk.

I am writing this before my appointment. I’m terrified of what the doctor is going to say. I know I’m overweight. I know he is going to tell me I need to lose weight. I’m scared he is going to tell me I need surgery. Conversely I’m terrified he’s going to tell me that he can’t see anything wrong with me and that all I need to do is lose weight.

I know there is something wrong with my knee beyond just mild arthritis and the strain of being overweight. I’m fearful that the doctor will pass this off as that just because that would be the easier route for him. If it was just arthritis I would most likely have the same pain in both knees. If it was just arthritis I wouldn’t be hearing that popping noise when I bend it or put weight on it.


It was an interesting day to say the least. The general practitioner that I saw thought maybe I had bursitis (or Housemaid’s Knee). He ordered X-rays and set me up with an appointment with a Sports Medicine doctor for the afternoon. I was a bit upset at this point because I was fairly certain it wasn’t bursitis.

The Sports Medicine doctor explained my X-rays and poked and prodded and moved my knee all over the place, which brought me to tears. He has diagnosed me with Patellar Tendonitis. From my X-rays the doctor can see that my right knee is not sitting exactly straight which is causing an irritation to the tendon.

He has recommended Tylenol for the pain (which doesn’t seem to help much) and Glucosamine to promote joint health, and physical therapy. If the therapy doesn’t help by the next time I see him (2 months from now) then its time to consider a steroid shot.

He has also recommended that I lose weight. He told me that even a little bit will help. He says that every pound is really like 4 pounds on my knee joint when I’m bending it, so even if I only lose 5 pounds, to my knee it will feel like 20.  This is actually really good motivation to me. I can do 5 pounds. It seems less daunting if I take it a little at a time. So, I’m going to try.

July 19, 2011

Don’t text me if you don’t have time to correct errors

What do you do when you get a random text from a friend that consists solely of the word “Moppets?”

If you’re me you respond with another single word, “Really?”

And then, no response…

I’m guessing this was just an instance of auto-correct doing it’s damnable best to make sense of our human language and failing miserably. (Link is highly NSFW but hilarious.)

I’m seriously convinced that auto-correct (which I do not have on my cell phone) has either been created as a way to teach computers AI, or it has been programmed deliberately to send the most random or embarrassing correction whenever we mis-spell something.

Auto-correct: Teaching proper spelling one embarrassing auto-correct at a time.

This still doesn’t solve the Moppets question. Supposedly auto-correct is designed to auto-complete what you type with a word that you use frequently that begins with the letters in question. Who the heck says Moppets that frequently and why? I’m seriously questioning the sanity of my dear friend. What could he possibly have been trying to say to me that would result in Moppets?


Addition: Turns out he was trying to type “Noppers,” and apparently has never called anyone a moppet ever.

Auto-correct: Taking over the world one anochronistic word at a time. 

July 17, 2011

Screenshot Sunday: Apathetic Elf

This is one of my favorite screenshots to date, and is my current background.

I love the way the sunlight is filtering through the trees. I love the sarcastic look on the elf’s face as if she’s sighing and saying, “Not another invasion! Can’t I get a moments peace to convene with Tavril?!” Followed by a roll of her eyes as she gets up to join the battle.

The sad part is I’m fairly certain this was a very briefly held alt that has now been deleted. WTB meaningful screenshots of the toons I’m actually continuing to play.

Tags: ,
July 15, 2011

Before and After



Yeah, I know the more recent picture’s quality is downright horrid. I blame it on florescent lighting and the fact that the ex took the nice digital camera in the divorce. I think the new cut makes my face look a little fatter, but I think it makes me look younger and happier. I’m fat anyway, so if the long hair was helping me look thinner in the face, I’m sure it wasn’t doing anything for my mid-section. Haha!

Overall, I’m incredibly happy with the results. If I have any readers in the Madison, WI area, I’d definitely recommend Shear Design in Monona. Can’t say enough good about my stylist Angie. It was almost like she could read my mind what I wanted done with my hair. I love it!

Tags: ,
July 14, 2011


Tomorrow I am planning on going to the salon to get my hair cut.

I know what you’re thinking… Who the hell cares?

This is kind of a big deal for me.

For the last 10+ years I have worn my hair long, straight and parted in the middle. The easiest look in the history of hair (provided you have naturally straight hair). Once a year I get it trimmed (I know that’s not as often as recommended). Every so often (when it would get so long it started driving me crazy) I would get it cut to shoulder length and start growing it out again.

Tomorrow I am planning on changing my hair style. I think I’m going to do like a staggered bang parted on the side, and the rest a medium length but layered and kinda messy/wild, so that it will look good even when I don’t do much to it.

I’m hoping the salon I go to will be able to do all that. I hope I’ll like it.

Wish me luck.

July 12, 2011


I hate it. I hate people with closed minds who assume that their initial gut feeling about something is the one and only truth. I hate people who refuse to dig a little deeper to get at what is really going on, but take everything at face value.

I hate when people see me doing something and don’t like it. They think what I’m doing is stupid, pointless or wrong. They tell me as much. They refuse to listen to what I have to say about why I am doing it. But I know I’m doing the right thing. I know why I did what I did. I know that I helped others by doing it. Just because you refuse to stop and listen and think and open your mind, doesn’t mean that the things I do are wrong.

I hate that the negative comments these closed minded people make cause me to doubt myself. I hate that they make me feel inferior, just by the vigor with which they berate me and insist they are right. In truth it is they who are inferior to me, for they refuse to open their eyes. They see what they want to see.

I hate that hardly anyone recognizes the good in what I do. I wish I didn’t needs so much positive reinforcement. I wish I was more sure of myself.

Then I stop to think. Am I the one who is truly being stupid and closed minded?Afterall, I too am insisting that what I am doing is right. Maybe I’m not right. But I can’t do things the way the others do. I can’t just turn off my “caring button.” I care about others and I want to help them, even if it means doing more or extra work, even if it takes a little more time.

More and more I see very loud and opinionated people spouting things that I consider stupid. They insist that they know the truth, and the sheep-like masses listen. I wonder about my own intelligence in comparison.

I like to think I’m smarter than the average, but am I really? Maybe I’m just like the rest, spouting loud and opinionated garbage.

July 10, 2011

Screenshot Sunday: But she’s my faerie!

Lazrina: But… she’s my faerie!

Krisis: Yeah? Well, she likes me better. Don’t you, Murderina?

~the faerie mutters happily at the rogue in her singsong language~

Lazrina: I didn’t name her that!

Krisis: Of course you didn’t. You wouldn’t. I think she likes it.

~the rogue reaches out to tickle the faerie~

~the faerie smiles and coos at the rogue, moving closer to her, then suddenly stabs out with a needle of a dagger~

Krisis: Ouch!

Lazrina: Where did she get that?!

~the rogue shrugs~

Krisis: Everyone needs a knife.

Lazrina: Fine! The two of you deserve each other! Bloodthirsty fools! How you got to be Ascended I’ll never understand!

~the cleric stomps off muttering to herself~

Lazrina: Stupid faerie prefers the company of that bladedancer to me, a cleric of Mariel-Taun?!

Yes, that’s right. My cleric’s faerie seems to have a fondness for slaying things, and has taken a liking to my rogue companion. She always flutters closer to her than to me!

Tags: ,